


ache

by itisjosh



Series: restart [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Betrayal, Childhood Friends, Conversations, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Gods, Lowercase, Past Lives, Past Violence, Regret, Sky Gods - Freeform, War, also because it's like 8am i am tired, for the aesthetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: two gods talk in the wake of destruction
Relationships: Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot
Series: restart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999678
Comments: 30
Kudos: 184





	ache

he stares off at the burnt ground in front of him, the smell of smoke filling his lungs. his chest is heavy with regret and exhaustion. he smells fire, the agony, the sweat and the grief of the people he used to call friends. he used to call two of them his brothers, didn't he? he used to have a family. funny, how things can change so quickly. there was only one way to do this, and he had to do it. he had to - no one else was willing to. he's always been the one to take charge, to take the blame and the responsibility for everything. he's tired. he's so tired. 

the river god should have never been allowed back on this world. the river god should have died the day he was created, all those millenniums ago. how long has it been? he doesn't know. the human concept of time is lacking and full of plotholes, so he doesn't worry about it that much. he knows that he should. time is important when it comes to humans, but he isn't one. his friends are, however. are they his friends? they used to be. not anymore, he thinks. not after what he did. he _had_ to, it was never a choice. restarting was the only way to purge the destruction and evil that plagued the world. there was no other way to do it. he had to get rid of the river god, and he wasn't going to half-ass it. not again. 

he's killed him once or twice before. he doesn't remember his name - it's long and hard to pronounce, filled with syllables that don't make sense. he might be a god, but his tongue is human, and it has been for a long time. the river god has killed him, too. thousands of years ago, when he was shoved into the volcano. today, when the river god pushed him into the ocean and filled his chest with salt and memories. they used to be friends, didn't they? a long time ago, they used to be children playing in a field. he remembers it well; back when the river god wasn't the river god. back when they were both human, back when they had no worries. back when war didn't plague their minds.

war. it's such a funny word. human words and concepts are all hilarious to him, but they've started to make sense. how they try to explain things, why they try to fight death and try to live forever. he doesn't understand why anyone would want to put themselves through that. he never asked to be a god. the river god was dying, and he was young. he should have let him die. but they were friends then, weren't they? friends. a concept, friends are. he remembers when he used to like the concept, when he liked to revel in the memories and the comfort that his friends would always be there for him. 

he was lying to himself since the beginning, it seems. he's always been a liar, he's well aware of that. he might be the god of the skies, but that doesn't mean he isn't the master of words and charm. he knows how people see him, how people look at him and want to follow him. how they believe his words without a second thought, how they would follow him so long as he said that they would be fine. he lies so much. is it a bad thing? he doesn't think so, not anymore. lying used to be a bad thing, but now it's simply a way of getting through life. he had to lie to him, the boy that followed him constantly. 

tommy, he thinks. that was his name, wasn't it? names are concepts, too. he doesn't have a name. he used to, he's fairly certain he used to have a name. but it isn't important, no one calls him by his name. no one has in a long time. tommy was a good person. a better person than he would ever be. if anyone should have been a god, it should have been tommy. but the world doesn't work like that, he thinks. he wishes it did. he wishes he was able to die, because at least then he'd be able to rest. to forget. to finally, _finally_ forget. 

forgetting is a luxury he doesn't have. he might have forgotten the river god's name. he might have forgotten his own name, but neither of those things are important. he knows he won't be able to forget the way tommy looked at him when he pushed that button. he wonders if the river god is still around. he doesn't care. it isn't like he wants to see him, anyways. the river god feels the same, he's sure of it. why else would he try to ruin his life? he thought that their rivalry was over, that their constant backstabbing was finished. apparently not. it's almost funny how wrong he was. 

almost.

he hears someone sit down next to him, the smell of salt and sea crashing over the smoke and grief. the scent of home and memories fill his mind, and an eerie wave of calmness pushes at his head. "hi." the river god says with a smile. he doesn't need to look at him to know he's smiling. 

"why are you here?" he asks, staring at the burning bridges, watching the flames dance. everyone is gone by now. everyone left. the one with the mask, he's been gone since the beginning. tommy and his friend left when he pushed the button. everyone left. 

"to say hello," the river god tells him, his tone borderline teasing. "did you forget, wilbur? we're friends."

wilbur. right, his name. the name that humans can pronounce, the one that doesn't make their ears bleed. wilbur. 

"we haven't been friends in a long time." wilbur says back, closing his eyes. the river god isn't going to kill him. if he wanted to do it, he'd have done it by now. even if the river god did kill him, it isn't like it would change much. wilbur would still come back. he would come back, and then he would do it all over again. he's a god, he doesn't have the luxury of dying. 

"i think we're friends," the river god murmurs, his voice sounding like waves crashing on a lonely beach. "we're the only consistent thing in each other's lives, wilbur." 

"not by choice," wilbur reminds him. "i hate you."

the river god tilts his head up, his eyes gleaming and twinkling, reflecting the flames. "that's a constant, wilbur. it's something stable, something to hold on to. we're all we have left."

"i should have left you in the field," wilbur whispers. "i should have watched you bleed out. i would have laughed."

"you wouldn't have," the river god reminds him, and wilbur wishes he was lying. "you used to love me."

"we used to be friends."

"i think we still are."

"we aren't. what do the humans call you, now?" 

"schlatt," the river god, schlatt, tells him. "it wasn't meant to happen like this."

wilbur scoffs. "then how was it meant to happen, schlatt?"

"i don't know," schlatt admits. "but it wasn't supposed to be like this. you should come to the ocean with me, wilbur."

"last time i went to the ocean with you," wilbur turns to stare at him, "you drowned me." schlatt smiles at him, a hint of regret shining in his eyes. 

"i'm sorry about that."

"you aren't."

"i'm not," the river god agrees, softly. "you deserved it."

wilbur closes his eyes, wishing he could inhale more smoke. "i did. but it didn't mean you should have done it. you deserved to die, and that hasn't happened."

"and it never will," schlatt reminds him. "gods can't die. take me to the sky, then," he laughs. "show me the moon and the stars, wilbur. tell me about constellations and space." 

"tell me about the city under the water. tell me why you killed them." schlatt is silent for a long time.

"they started an uprising against you and the other gods. they tried to claim it was in my name, and i wasn't going to let that happen. so i took care of it. don't act like you're innocent, wilbur," schlatt snorts. "you've killed millions, too. you're not the good guy, and you never will be."

"i never said i was," wilbur watches as a tree slams to the ground, fire twirling and dancing around it. "you're worse than i am."

"that's a personal opinion," schlatt smiles. "let's make a deal."

"i don't make deals."

"just this one time. how about we stop trying to kill each other?" the river god offers. "let's be friends, wilbur. i'm tired," for the first time, the smell of salt recedes. "i'm so fucking tired, wilbur. war isn't worth it. i'm too old for war," schlatt tells him. "we both are. it's been a long time since i've had a friend."

wilbur doesn't say anything for a moment. "we aren't friends. we never will be."

"we can still try."

"i hate you, why would i try?"

schlatt smiles. "because you've got no one else. i'm the only one you have left, wilbur. you're the only one i have left, too. everyone else is gone. look around, wilbur. all of the fire, all of the pain. you can see it, can't you? you're not blind to it yet. they're all gone. they left as soon as the flames ignited. it's just you and me, wilbur. it's just us here." 

wilbur closes his eyes, drawing back the memories of a boy with stars in his eyes and a grin plastered on his face. a boy who was determined to do the right thing, to prove to everyone that he wasn't incapable of doing anything. a boy who was too proud to give up. "why did it have to be you?" wilbur asks, wishing he knew the answer to his own question. it's always been schlatt. it's never been anyone else, has it? "where do we go from here?"

"away," schlatt laughs, standing up. he offers wilbur a hand, smiling softly. "i'd like to show you the ocean again. i'd like to see the constellations."

"they get boring after a while."

"well, i've got an eternity to get bored," wilbur takes his hand, the smell of home filling his chest again. "i'm sorry."

"i don't believe you."

"i know," schlatt smiles. "but i've got an eternity to make you believe me."

wilbur smiles.

"show me the ocean, schlatt."


End file.
